Best man speech one liners

best man speech one linersHere is a great list of best man speech one liners I have either heard, delivered myself or seen online, I have changed the names to protect the innocent.

1. I would like to begin by telling you how wonderful Tom is. I really would like to but I can’t…

2. You probably do not know where Steven Smith’s name comes from, I checked it out and Smith means: “handsome, hard working, smart, sexually attractive to females and irresistible” …and Steven means : “not very”

3. Angela has had a lot of men in her life to be fair; Ralph Lauren, Christian Dior, Yves Saint Laurent..

4. I think I need to end this quickly, Bob told me he can’t wait to get Claire’s knickers off because they are killing him.

5. Stewart was telling me how he gets targeted marketing emails all the time and was wondering how they knew he had a very small penis?

6. It doesn’t happen often I get the chance to talk about a dear friend who is articulate, smart, sexy and admired by his peers. Its therefore a same I have to now talk about John.

7. David was single for most of his days at school and university, it was by choice, women really chose to ignore him.

8. Duncan and I met in 1994, clearly his best years were behind him, mainly through alcohol abuse. He always confused intelligent discussion with very loud shouting.

9. I was told that the best man speech should last as long as the groom makes love for, so I think I am over my time already.

10. Being asked to be best man is like being asked to make love to the queen. On the one hand it is a great honour, but you dread the moment when you have to rise to perform.

I hope you liked at least one of these best man one liners, the key now is how you structure your speech, we can help you with that. Whatever you choose to do, good luck my friend, I have been there several times and it isn’t easy.